Author: Vid

In the past I have tried to avoid a few things when it comes to this website, the first of which is being any sort of hypercritical media critic. It just felt superfluous considering my own views on judging creative content. Now that I’ve gotten that horribly stereotypical disclaimer out of the way I have a few things to say about a movie I saw recently, and how it made me feel. I understand that emotional introspection is sort of the goal of this movie. After all, their title pun says as much. But Inside Out did a little more than make me think about the things that might be going on inside of my own head, and even though I am sure it is also about understanding what may be going on in someone else’s head ( in the same way that just about every video game is A Heartwarming Tale Of Loss And Friendship ), there was something that dawned on me as I was waiting for the movie to reach its inevitable conclusion in which Character A learns a major lesson from Character 1 and their whole outlook changes so we as the viewer get to recognize the happy ending.

Happiness is a subjective adjective, and not everybody has it as their default. I never have, certainly. I have been happy at points, I enjoy things on a regular basis, but the sheer fact of it is that at my very core, happiness is maybe between one sixth and one eighth of my daily feelings. But it does seem like people expect me to seek out happiness, and just be happy with things. There is a lot of exposition there, but to get back to my point, it dawned on me how unreasonable it is for other people to express their projection of what they think the emotional default should be on anyone else, and just how often it happens. Worse, when it happens, there is little anyone expects to accept about how their perception might not be the healthiest for who it is being projected on, and if the subject of that projection tries to argue that point, how reasonable it is to brush their feelings aside.

In short, Inside Out made me realize that not only do quite a few people treat others poorly, but that a lot of people out there expect to get away with treating people horribly.

So why is it that only some of us are treated like bastards when we express our [expletive] feelings.

— Vid

++ EDIT ++ Since writing this post originally, I came across a particular comic by a clever individual that I would say is highly relevant to this post. Go read it.

Let me briefly tell you the story of the Six Million Dollar Car. In 2004 I was in a tight spot and I knew that I could either live on my own and work a job that was local but had little growth, or spend a little more time in an uncomfortable situation but buy a car that would open up better work opportunity. So I opted for the car. It was an awkward few months, but I was immediately happier about my situation. I found a 2001 Pontiac Sunfire, it had less than 9,000 miles on it, and it was exactly what I needed. Because of its low mileage, I was able to pull a 10 year 100,000 mile warranty agreement, and so I felt happy and secure in knowing that car would be with me a very long time.

And it was. In the course of the life of that car, I replaced every panel excet the roof, all the wheels, the engine ( twice ), the transmission, fuel pump, water, pump, and the alternator. Every single one of these repairs has been done through insurance or warranty ( except for one of the engines ). We could rebuild it, we had the technology, we were able to make it better, faster, stronger.

circa 2012

I love my car. It has been very good to me. I fit into it as though I am a Rigger and it is my bonded vehicle. In the 11 years I have owned it, it has ended up in the neighborhood of 180,000 [rounding] miles. For those keeping score, that is 171,000 over where I purchased it, and almost double the initial warranty. But over the last year or so, cosmetic issues have started to degrade the interior quality of my Six Million Dollar Car, and they have been eating away at it faster than I can fix them. So, this weekend, the Six Million Dollar Car was reincarnated.

circa 2015

As Little Kaiju might say, “BOOM, whaaaaaaaaat.” This is a 2015 Ford Fusion SE, it has 13,800 miles on it. I have a 7 year 100,000 mile warranty. Let’s see if this one can’t do as well as the original, neh?

— Vid

The last year or so has been a touch rough. I’m not terribly fond of reaching out to people, and so when things get bad and I have to fight off my inner demons I tend to sequester myself in a turtle-like shell that has nice soft padding and keeps me away from the outside world. The parallel to a sanitarium is not lost on me. Regardless, I have to take control of the direction my life has been going in, and it’s time to stop waiting for other people to fix things for me.

Not that I ever really did, but the point is the same.

I enjoy my friends, a lot, but I have learned that sometimes certain things are just part of the social construct. This site had originally been a place for like minded people to get together and share works with others, a sort of media hub for our projects. Which would have been great, but most of those like minds aren’t so like anymore, and like I have used like too many times in this sentence. Malicious Bastards are not Malicious Bastards anymore. So it’s really just the one of us. Me? Really just the one. So you’ll notice the possessive apostrophe before the S now, because the site is mine. Maybe one day I’ll share it again, but I’m not holding my breath.

…well, that’s a lie, I am holding my breath, I tend to do that while I type. Still, I think you get the point. Besides, if you don’t that’s hardly my fault.

Posts will likely still remain irregular, but I’ll try and be more active about it than I have in the last two years. That feels a bit like cheating because it would be impossible to be less active. Already I’ve made an exponential improvement!

— Vid