Malicious Bastard's

Today we have a very brief listing of concoctions that I have created. I am not sure if these mixtures have been created under other names, but I like the names I’ve given them better. Both drinks are sure to make quite an impact though.

Okay, I may be overselling that statement a little ( re: a whole [expletive] lot ), but they’re still worth claiming ownership over.

Ancient Hammerhead

Less a recipe and more a process. An Ancient Hammerhead starts with a shot of espresso. This shot is then added to a cup of drip coffee ( the Hammerhead part ). To fully create this beast, that mixture is then used to make a cup of Turkish coffee.

For those unfamiliar, Turkish coffee is a micro-ground ultra fine powdered form of the already roasted bean. If you can’t get your hands on it, you can try this yourself with Starbucks VIA packets. Not as fresh, but still the same vicious bite. Portions can be mixed to desired taste, thirst, or addiction, but this is based on a single 8oz. cup of coffee.

Crutch

For those looking to forget, this “shooter” is named for the loss of ability to stand on your own with two of them.

2oz. Vodka
2oz. Tequila
Pinch of cayenne pepper to garnish
Served in rocks glass neat, no mixing

Originally this had been an 8oz. serving, but that was rather dangerous. Very few people I have ever met were capable of finishing one. Toning it down still served its purpose, while also making it feasible to finish.

For the less self loathing, ice can be included if mixed with the pepper first. Otherwise it gets stuck to the ice and you lose it when you pour the drink. It will still get stuck, of course, but at least now you’ll have some of it in the glass too. I remember reading something once about cayenne pepper and vodka being very popular in Russia once, but honestly I’ve never been able to find a credible source on it.

Trade Embargo

This one was made on a whim, and it certainly underwent some documentation changes, but with a little help from various sources, I now have a recipe that not only works, but is easy to put together.

1.5oz. Crown Royal Blended Canadian whisky
.5oz. Malibu white coconut rum
4oz. pineapple juice
dash of grenadine for color
Served in rocks glass, shaken over ice

I’ve had this one a few ways and it’s almost always good. It’s been served as a cocktail, even had it as a shooter once, although not sure how that works considering the volume of liquid. Still, the important part here is the specific balance of the liquors of choice. The .5oz of Malibu is designed to impart just enough sweet with that tropical taste and not overpower anything. If you go higher, you definitely over-do it. Also, if you under-do the Crown Royal, it tastes weak, while going higher just leaves it bitter.

Theoretically the specific brands aren’t important, though I haven’t attempted the concoction with anything else. Also, they were chosen to go with the name. They’re both things that had embargoes placed on them, and the Crown Royal makes it sound like a sort of pirate-y regal defiance sort of thing.

So, there we have them. Drink, and be merry. Or on the floor. Or extra sober.

Whichever.

— Vid

It sounds cliche’, but it came to me in a dream. After the Library’s fall, I was lost. While mine was no Alexandria, I must admit that it is a great deal of my world. I went to sleep that night, angry, and unsure of what to do.

And then, as mentioned, it came to me in a dream.

I was in this incredibly bright white cleanroom. There were no discernible features, no door, no windows, no real light source. Just the room, myself, and the defunct Library. It sat there on it’s side like a turtle on it’s shell staring up at the world, waiting for the eagle to come and grab it so it could be dropped to the rocks below. After all, there is good eating in one of those.

But there was no eagle. Instead I leaned over it, and instinctually began to dismantle the Library, removing it’s main components. As I carefully stripped out the motherboard, I immediately placed it on the edge of the non-existent workbench so the processor’s corner was hanging off the ledge. From there, the board alone, I began to install the heat sink. Without considering the case, or the other portions, I screwed the mount onto the board, leaving the turn screw nuts below the board so they would work like spacers between the board and the case itself.

After the heat sink was installed, I reassembled the tower, and just as I turned the final screw I woke up. Unfortunately I woke up because my alarm went off and I had to go to work. I struggled and struggled to hold on to that dream, reciting it to myself all day long. Finally, I got home and was able to get to work.

Unfortunately I don’t have any sort of cleanroom. My Office is a sweltering mess, and the rest of my house has cats to contend with, but I was able to sequester the furry beasts well enough to use the foyer of my house. It’s a relatively square room with tile floors, so it would have to do.

Getting the tower disassembled was hardly as simple as I dreamed it would be. It took me two hours to get everything out, assembled, and then back in. Of course, getting the board wired again was the hard part. Fortunately I still have the manual. With that I was able to do it right the first time around, and boot the Library up.

I literally had my fingers crossed for luck.

It booted up, and I could see that the heat sink was powered properly. To test it, I decided to run Dawn of War II. It’s a fun game, it really is, but I haven’t been able to play it for more than half an hour or so at a time before the whole thing would tank.

Four hours later I realized that it was doing it’s job. This was awesome news! It meant that I didn’t have to worry about short changing myself on the Reliquary! Instead I could keep working with the Library, keep building up cash moneys, and buy the upgrade computer I actually wanted. It also helped that one of the other allies gave me his old video card ( an nVidia GeForce 8800GT ) so I could run SLi with mine, further extending the functional life of the Library.

So now I’m in less of a panic mode. It’s been a few days and I still haven’t had a major power shut down, though after a few hours of graphics intensive gaming the Library does tend to chunk so I’ll definitely want to pick up a few fans. Still, it gives me hope that I’ll have the time to put the computer I want to upgrade to into play.

Thank you, Machine Spirit. I am ever your Servant.

— Vid

One year, three months, and one week. That’s how long the Library survived. You see, I made a fatal flaw in it’s assembly. I never included an improved heat sink for the processor. To make a long story short, some things happened and they were bad.

So I’ve been instructed by controlling interests to put a full list of parts together, and calculate the costs. As mentioned previously, “the Reliquary” is not [expletive] cheap. Original estimations were a little bit short. By about seven chickens.

That’s some flashback humor that maybe five people would ever get, but that’s the kind of mood I’m in.

Anyhow, the Reliquary is looking at about $1,954.89 or so. Plus tax. And shipping. Putting it at $2,134.92 all told.

Okay, so maybe it was ten chickens.

Now, this is also based on a really nice layout;

EVGA X58 FTW3 ATX Intel Motherboard [1]
Intel Core i7-960 Bloomfield 3.2GHz LGA 1366 [1]
Zalman CNPS9900MAX-B 135mm CPU Cooler [1] ( Thinking ahead this time )
Corsair Vengeance 12GB Triple Channel DDR3 SDRAM 1600 (3 x 4GB) [2]
EVGA GeForce GTX 560 Ti 1GB 256-Bit GDDR5 [2]
Western Digital Caviar Black 7200rpm 1TB SATA 6.0GB/s [2]
ASUS Blu-ray Burner BW-12B1LT [1]
Corsair CMPSU-850TX 850W Power Supply [1]

It’s a tough pill to swallow all told, but really, it’s a nice piece of machinery when it’d be completed. RAID, SLi, computer happiness. Well in the mean time I need to get the Library working well enough to hold me over until I can build up the scratch. For the record, that pun there was not related to the flashback humor, it just worked out that way. Anyhow, I deemed that the best way to pull this off was to purchase a heat sink. And I did! And it shipped! And it got here in a day!

Except even though it’s designed to fit my case, and fit my motherboard and chip set, the way my motherboard is put into my case, the holes on the back board of my case do NOT match up with the screws for the mount for the heat sink. Awesome, can’t use it yet. And in the process of pulling out the original heat sink that came with my processor?

I broke the clips off of it.

[Expletive] jimmied. Now I can’t put it back on to even use my computer in the semi-functional state it HAD been in. I can either modify the case, or I can replace the case. Options are not pleasant in either direction. I’ve gathered $300, and at this point I’ve already spent an extra $60 on the heat sink I was going to put into the Library. Keeping it running is getting pricey.

If I cut down the duplicate components– no RAID, no SLi, half RAM capability –I’m effectively doing the same thing I did with the Library in the first place; buying half the computer I want, hoping I’ll be able to get the rest of the pieces before they’re unavailable, and then never really getting them. I’m already passing up on new dual monitors, I’m not picking up a keyboard, and I’m not replacing Pointdexter 2.0 [the term of endearment I’d given the mouse] despite dire need. Still, cutting down drops the total price to $1,570.73. That puts me at a fifth compared to a seventh, but it took me from Christmas to get the $300 I’ve got.

I’m hoping to get everything built up a little faster, but in the mean time I’m going to be stuck using the laptop when it isn’t in use.

The irony there is that I was also thinking about picking up a [netbook / laptop / tablet], but now I know where that money is going instead.

— Vid